We were all taught while growing up, the importance of listening to our parents. Not to mention how detrimental to our physical being it would have been if we didn’t. We were always told that parents know best and because they always wanted better for us, that we should heed their never-ending advice.
Likewise, we are always told about the realness of intuition – that we all have it, we should listen to it and that it should never be ignored. It has even gone so far as being said that not listening to our intuition is why things sometimes go wrong in our lives.
As an educator, I have noticed that many parents haven’t learnt how , or don’t want to mesh the two concepts. We were all born with intuitive qualities, some sharper than others, of course. So why do parents not ‘listen’ to their children about the path they want to take. I have realised that the answer is simple. It is fear. In most cases, parents are scared that if they leave big decisions to the child, a bad decision will result and a life-path would be wrong.
However, I am in contact with teenagers day in and day out, and some are very clear on what they want to do. When their dreams differ from the path already planned for them by their parents, the result is usually a very unhappy teenager.
It is worth the effort to get to know your children for who they are and not for whom you hope they become. So many of them have a sharp sense of intuition that shouldn’t be ignored. Dreams can and do become reality and sometimes they know what they want to do with their lives. If you force them down a particular path, they may achieve some of what you want, a certain lifestyle and salary, but they may not achieve the happiness and job satisfaction that their intuition has them seeking.
The last thing we want to do is kill a spirit, that fire, that enthusiasm and passion for what they believe in. We tend to nurture that curiosity and enthusiasm when they are toddlers and infants, but then want to quell it, even chastise it as they become older and their intuition sharpens.
A particular student stands out. She desperately wanted to choose business subjects so that she can get her Business degree, get herself further qualified, because she wants to own her own spa. Her mother insisted that she must choose the sciences because if her spa ‘fantasy’ falls through, what good job can she possibly get with those qualifications. Her argument was that since the student was young she always wanted to be a doctor. The child’s response was that she was 4 at that time. I tried in every way I knew to convince the mother otherwise. As I looked at the student, having failed in my attempts, the child silently mouthed to me, ‘Thank you, Miss, but don’t bother. It’s ok.’ I saw a look of defeat and dejection on her face that I felt inside of me. Her life flashed before me. A successful doctor, unhappy but rich, resentful every time she went for a mani, pedi and facial.
Sometimes it’s worth listening to the younger ones because they may actually know better than us at times. And what is success really?