You always hear that not all superheroes wear capes – some wear love, a smile, a kind word or a helping hand. I believe that we all have a little superhero in us, even if that superhero is just to rescue one person, on one day, once in their entire lifetime.
As I got older, I realised that super-heroism isn’t as uncommon as we think. It all depends on what you think a superhero actually is and what their qualities are. A superhero isn’t a perfect being. A superhero is someone who possesses qualities that are more benevolent than that which we are capable. Superheroes are people who make us feel a way that we need or like to feel. They protect. They love. They care. And they really don’t all wear capes…
Some superheroes, when they meet you, it’s under less than ideal circumstances, with much resistance against them being in your life. Sometimes they are called horrible names and discouraged from pursuing any contact. But true superheroes, strong and wilful ones, go bravely forward regardless of the repercussions. They don’t see the odds, only that the chance they are taking, might actually be worth it. These types of superheroes have resilience replacing their capes. They don’t look back and they don’t regret their decisions. They become more concerned about protecting you from anyone that opposes, disapproves or dissuades you; always there by your side, never abandoning you during the transition to acceptance or during the most trying of times. These are very special superheroes…not like the other ones who wear capes. They take a chance, because they know how absolutely perfectly things can turn out to be.
Superheroes do very strange things that the average human would not understand. For example, when you are sick, superheroes leave work without you knowing it, to take you to the Doctor, that you don’t feel that you needed to visit, to get medication that you didn’t want. Strange superheroes give you a bell at your bedside so that you could ring it if you needed anything, once it meant that you didn’t have to get out of bed.
Superheroes can make you cry, though. Have no doubt about that. On your table as you open the front door, superheroes leave things for you, like a Cosmo magazine, a pack of bobby pins, a very sexy wine glass and flowers. You don’t know how, when or why it was done. Such inexpensive gifts that are seemingly unconnected to each other, can confuse you. But superheroes have their own special way of getting things done, like leave for work, go shopping, and return home and set gifts on the table, then go to work. Not being a superhero yourself, you may need to ask about such gestures. You see, superheroes know when you are having a busy week. The wine glass is because it was big and could hold more prosecco in one shot; the magazine is so that you could sit and relax and read it when you got home from work, while you drink from the glass; the flowers were because you just love fresh flowers in the apartment; but the bobby pins? Superheroes buy bobby pins because they figure you are running out of them, because they are constantly found all over the apartment floor, so superheroes feel the need to replace them. It is only a superhero could bring these gifts together in such an incredibly mindful way to bring tears to your eyes.
Slowly, but very deliberately, superheroes stop and take notice of smaller things. They realise how much you hate cleaning and doing any form of housework. So they get it done and take it all over, almost obsessively so. It is sometimes a superhero rule – that you aren’t allowed to do housework. Why? Because they just don’t think you should have to do it. So eventually, superheroes start investing in super-mops, super-brooms, super-vacuums and super-energy to clean every two days.
Superheroes get very odd things done. For example – gas. Superheroes don’t want you to go to the gas stations to pump your own gas, so they do it for you, until you realised you haven’t put gas in your own car in close to 28 months!
Superheroes love to leave notes; sometimes all over the apartment. These notes brighten your every day and your every mood. The notes also leave you dumbfounded with silence. From notes, it starts to progress. They leave you money in the notes, telling you to go shopping that day and spoil yourself. They leave hidden cash in strange places because they know that you never remember to keep cash on you, and one day, you may just need. Superheroes send you emails that contain airfare confirmations for vacations for you milestone birthday, to spend with your mom.
I didn’t realise how many small things superheroes do on a daily basis, until you are all alone in the apartment for a week, due to a business trip – like a superhero convention of some sort. It’s only then that you realise that on mornings, you never before had to see about your coffee, because it was brewed and brought to you while applying your make-up. You only then realise that you hadn’t been responsible for putting out garbage for over two years. The most embarrassing realisation is when you notice that you have stopped washing dishes, yet there were never any dishes dirty in the sink! It was almost as though a superhero used to magically make these things happen. During that week of the superhero convention, it would be a very big bother to have to re-stack the refrigerator with your own sodas, wash up the dishes after you cooked, make ice and even adjust the AC for yourself. So you start asking yourself what was really going on! Are you really that lazy? Then you realise that these things were all done for you just so that you wouldn’t have to do it for yourself.
Superheroes don’t allow you to cook on Sundays; or ever, if given the chance. The reason behind it is that you work hard all day and all week, and you shouldn’t have to slave in the kitchen when you get home, especially on a weekend. The aim of a superhero is to get you to come home after work and just take a nap or watch TV. They even prepare your side of the bed before you leave for work, in a way, that when you get home, you can just literally go under the covers. You never actually figure out how and when that happened, but yet it was always there.
Superheroes can be very supportive, which you may have never known before. They support you with your job, late hours, and bringing home your work – the paper work and the emotional work of being a teacher. They assist you in your whims and fancies, like latest hobby of making and selling organic body scrubs (selling, because there is no superhero space for you to make and keep them, just because you like to make them). They support you when for the first time in your entire seventeen year career, a student lies about you and convinces her entire form that she is being honest. The superhero gets legal counsel for you, they print all of the screen shots and posts in which your name was called on a public forum without your consent, and where your name was threatened in social media. Superheroes are great with legal guidance, not just emotional support.
Superheroes are very trusting. They trust not just you and your intentions, but they trust your judgement. They don’t doubt your dedication and commitment because they know that theirs is unwavering. They share their experiences with you – good and bad, knowing that your opinion or response is valuable. They make you feel valued in every way. They respect you, your family, your friends, your co-workers, your students, and anyone who you hold in appreciation.
Superheroes encourage you to be who you always wanted to be – the person you were meant to be, the person you like to be. They support you when you want to raid wardrobes in the house because you found out that there is a child who needed clothes for the weekend. They tell you that it’s ok to take our wedding money that the staff gives you, and contribute it to the school so that my girls benefit from it. They don’t just give the support to help a child that you know who is in dire straits, but they go do the grocery shopping for you to give to her family. They never ever say that it’s their money too, and you are just throwing it away seeing about everyone else, while we have our own commitments.
Superheroes equip you surroundings with 24/7 cameras that record everything – just so that you would be just a little bit safer. They turn an entire bedroom into a home-gym just because you don’t like going to a real gym. They get you pantry shelving systems so that you and your scrubs can be more comfortable.
One of the best things about superheroes is that they never get angry with you. They never shout at you, or curse you, or insult you. Superheroes use their superhero words to tell you if they are perturbed by something, because perturbed is as angry as they get. They don’t just not argue, but they let you win arguments that they know you lost half hour before, just so that you don’t feel like a boob. They apologise when they think they are wrong but superheroes also stand their ground when they know they must – like when it comes to you eating snacks everywhere and leaving a trail of crumbs wherever you go; or when it comes to your online shopping disease, or mall disease. They know when to reel you back into reality.
Superheroes share parts of themselves that silence you. They wear their hearts on their sleeves. They love with everything inside of them and with all of which they are capable. They are brave enough to put their feelings on the line, without shame or fear or expectation. They do nothing just to get something in return. They give and give and give to you, not just gifts and tokens and notes, but they give themselves and of themselves. They love completely because it is the only way that they truly know how to love, and it is the only way they want to be loved in return…freely and wholly.
I met a superhero a few years ago…and he made me the luckiest woman in the world when he decided that he wanted to marry me.